Lava Lamp of Death

My buddy John pointed me towards a horrific story about a man KILLED by a lava lamp in our area. Reading the article brought back memories of a lava lamp incident of my very own from a few years back. I had no idea how close to DEATH I came...

I once owned a lava lamp. The lava lamp was pretty. However, it had a gap of air at the top that always bugged me. So, curious fellow that I am, I began to do some research online. I found several sites that described what was in a lava lamp. Of course, they were all different. For the most part, it was wax suspended in liquid. I chose a "liquid" recipe that I could replicate at home. I created a mixture of water and rubbing alcohol and filled the gap. Of course, I tested the lava lamp on several occasions for a couple of hours at a time. It worked, and beautifully I might add. My lava lamp was full and perfect. Little did I know, it was also EVIL...

I turned the lava lamp on about 3:00 pm or 4:00 pm on a weekend day. At about midnight, I fell asleep on the couch, the lava lamp burbling just above me on a low bookshelf behind the couch. At about 1:00 am, I was awakened by a LOUD EXPLOSION and HOT, LIQUID MAGMA SEARING MY FLESH! The lava lamp had exploded, sending shards of glass everywhere and a stinky, red, waxy mess all over the bookshelf, the books, the couch, the floor and ME! In my "just-awoken-by-an-explosion" stupor, my first instinct was to turn off the lamp to prevent a fire. Instead of pulling the plug, I went for the switch...and was ELECTROCUTED! Looking back on it now, I realize that the lava lamp had it's own agenda: TO KILL ME! I pulled the plug after that and spent the next hour or so cleaning up the mess.

Moral of the story? There's a gap at the top of lava lamps for a reason: to allow for the expansion of the liquid/wax as it heats and to dissipate that heat. Also, when the manual says "Do not leave lamp on more than eight hours at a time," it means it. Today, I have a funny story to tell, but in the back of my mind, I will always count myself lucky...to be alive to tell it.