For the gentleman whose manhood is so small...

...that not even a Hummer will boost his ego, International offers the CXT. This "pickup truck" is actually a commercial severe service vehicle that doesn't require a commercial license to operate, which is EXACTLY what we need on our roads.

An International rep actually boasts, "You can put the Hummer in back and take it with you." The CXT is TWO FEET taller than a Hummer, it weighs over 5 TONS, is 21.5 feet long and no doubt gets 2 miles to the gallon. My favorite "convenience" option? The tilting bed, of course, which should come in handy when unloading after a trip to Costco. It also has the safety feature of being able to crush 75% of the vehicles on the road in an accident.

It's only a matter of time before the pimps, players, movie producers and lawyers start cruising around the suburbs in this monstrosity. Damn you International...why couldn't you just bring back the Scout? (Thank you Matt C!)